You Can Cry
by DenniBenni
Summary: Set a few months before season two. Tim can't help but feel hesitant to mourn is parents' Crying was never really an option growing You were either ignored or told that it wasn't worth crying And maybe this wasn't either…Oneshot


_AN: So, I know I haven't written anything in quite some time and I do have an explanation. Two stories I had previously been writing got deleted from the website without my permission -_- so…I was just angry and decided to protest away from using the website ever again, but here I am! I think I was just angry because the stories didn't violate any conditions (That I know of haha). Oh well, that was way back when, so this is just a for fun oneshot! Yay! Hope you enjoy it. :)_

Description: Set a few months before season two. Tim can't help but feel hesitant to mourn is parents' deaths. Crying was never really an option growing up. You were either ignored or told that it wasn't worth crying over. And maybe this wasn't either…Oneshot.

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"_It's ok. It's ok. Don't cry. It's ok."_

Timothy Drake's teeth bit down so hard on his bottom lip he was surprised when no blood was drawn. He felt his chest shake as a threatening sob nearly surfaced, but he pushed it back down as he sat in the darkness of the bedroom. It wasn't _his _bedroom, but he would need to adjust to it because it would be for the next five years in most likeliness.

The thirteen-year old shut his eyes as tightly as he could, nearly crying out in pain. The emotions that beat against him were causing him physical discomfort, which could only be described as someone carving out his chest. His heart ached, though he wouldn't say that because it sounded like a teenage girl who had just lost her boyfriend, and Tim was not _that._

Tim _was _however a child. A child who refused to cry. A child who refused to seek comfort. Just a child who had two families and now he was missing the one that had neglected him emotionally over the years. But, he had _loved _his parents with all his might. He had loved them more than any other person in the world. More than Bruce and more than Dick. More than the team. More than anyone.

And he _regretted _that. He regretted the fact he had never even told his parents that he had become Robin all those ten months ago. They never knew and now he would carry that information around in his chest until the day he died.

He breathed, his body rattling. He pushed his back a little farther into the side of the bed from his position on wood floor. The darkness smothered him as he pulled his knees tighter to his chest. Everything hurt…Physically and mentally. A migraine would be there soon, he could feel it.

There was something there in the back of his mind screaming at him to just cry and get it over with, but he couldn't take it into account. He didn't want to cry because there was this fear that he would never be able to stop once he started. As a child…Crying just never came about. The nannies did their jobs and didn't want to hear anything else out of him. That was it. He was fed and kept clean and got every toy imaginable for a kid.

He hadn't been happy though.

And then there was the Batman. The photos. Then finding out his identity. The circumstances after Jason's…passing. And suddenly he was filling these huge shoes and not ten months after he was an _orphan._

Because after all that was Batman and Robin's legacy…

"_Batman and Robin…Orphans."_

It was literally tattooed into their DNA.

Suddenly, Tim cringed as a ray of light streamed across the room. The old oak door creaked open and he heard a voice ask carefully, "Timmy…Can I come in?"

Tim wanted to send the person away…_Dick…_But, he didn't have the heart to speak. Instead he remained quiet as he heard footsteps enter and shut the door behind them. They crossed the room, approaching him and he could see a shadow from the dim moon that seeped in through the windows. It was too dark to see his brother's face however, but he knew what was coming. Hugs, physical contact, and comforting.

And he _refused._

Weakly, Tim hissed, "_Don't_."

It made Dick stop in his tracks and Tim knew why. It sounded like snake venom exiting Tim's mouth and Tim was not that kind of child. Tim was level headed and calm and never showed any emotion because that was just Tim. He was _so _much like Bruce in so many ways that it worried everyone in the manor. Dick and Alfred…Barbara included. Even some members on the team noticed and were actually quite worried about Tim sometimes.

Dick had always been so much different than the Batman. He was carefree and _happy. _He wasn't afraid to laugh in front of people and speak his mind. Jason had been the same about speaking his mind but Jason had been so _angry _and so rash.

Dick wondered if anyone was surprised when Jason had gotten killed.

Slowly, Dick sat down on the floor, crossing his legs in front of his little brother. Tim blinked, looking down once more. Even in the darkness he couldn't make eye contact. He _wouldn't. _Silence shifted through the room a few moments until Dick cleared his throat and whispered, "I just wanted to see how you were doing with all…The changes."

"I'm fine."

The response was so mechanical, Dick nearly cringed back. It felt like a slap with words. Dick wondered how many times Tim has had to say that phrase in his life. Straightening his back though, Dick replied, "I don't think you're telling me the truth, Timmy. Lying to make me feel better and happy isn't going to solve anything."

"Did you ever believe in Santa?"

Dick's eyebrows furrowed at the sudden question before he tilted his head in a bit of confusion. He nodded twice before answering, "Yes…Until I was about ten I think. Wally accidentally told me he didn't exist."

Tim swallowed thickly and croaked, "I've _never _believed in Santa Clause…"

"Tim," Dick began hesitantly. "What…What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!" Tim suddenly shouted, causing Dick to draw back in surprise. Tim didn't move physically, he didn't even look up from the floor. He simply continued harshly. "Parents tell that lie to make kids _happy _and it makes them _feel better _about life. It gives them something to _believe _in. I never got that…I never believed in _anything. _My family never had a religion. My parents never told me there "was" a Santa Clause or an Easter Bunny, or even a freaking Tooth Fairy. I had none of that…So why can't I tell a lie to make someone happy?"

Dick was silent, studying the thirteen year old, his jaw hanging open. A sob finally escaped Tim however, and the boy felt as if he was shattering from his very core. He continued, tears streaming his face, "I never _believed _in anything…Please let me help you believe in something."

"Oh Tim," Dick muttered so quietly he could barely hear himself. He shifted closer, almost expecting Tim to move away or tell him to back off…But, he didn't. Instead he allowed his older brother to wrap his arms around him and pull him into a tight embrace…

Dick placed a gentle kiss on the top of the boy's head as he murmured, "You can believe in anything you want, Timmy. That's the thing about the world…It's your head. It's your imagination. Anything can exist."

Tim shook his head in the crook of Dick's shoulder as he replied in a shaky voice, "Not anything." There was a long pause before he gave a frustrated sound and pounded a fist on Dick's chest, though the older knew it wasn't intended to hurt. Tim nearly sobbed, "I'm _so _mad at them…And at myself…But, I _miss _the so much I can't breathe."

Dick's Adam's Apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed past the lump in his throat. Dick whispered, "Just breathe…Slowly. And cry, because crying is ok, you understand? It's ok to cry and be comforted. It's ok."

And he did…He cried…He cried until exhaustion took him away from the real world where everything hurt.

"_It's ok. It's ok. You can cry. It's ok."_


End file.
